New blog suggestions

I have a long list of blogs I enjoying reading. I think that with the holidays most of us have been entirely to busy to continue to post regularly. I need suggestions for some new and interesting blogs to read!!!! Help!!!!

What are some interesting blog suggestions?

It is so much easier to just run away…

“I am profoundly and irreversibly screwed up.”

~ Julia Roberts as Maggie Carpenter in the “Runaway Bride”

I have been trying to think of a dynamic script to use when I talk to a certain individual. Yep, I am being a little vague because I have an uncanny feeling that the individual of whom I am referring will actually take time to read my blog. I am also certain that he would take time to read each and every post. (Sorry ) Which, in my opinion, is a little unsettling but I cannot prevent that from occurring. Whew! So, in the event that the blog becomes compromised, I hope that I still have friends.

Anyway, all day I have had an ongoing dialogue in my head of things to say. As of now, I still do not have an idea of what I may say. I practiced in the car, while shopping, while preparing for dinner and ultimately I am still at a loss for words. I am certain that people that drove past me today think I am a little weird. Have you ever had something to get off of your mind but just could not find the words? It is frustrating.  The last thing I want to do is to ramble on and on about nothing.  I am secretly hoping that I will not even have to have the conversation at all.

Ideally, I would like very gracefully to inquire about a certain individual’s feelings and address the fact that I am ready to run like hell in the other direction.  Perhaps I am like Julia Robert’s character in the movie, “The Runaway Bride.”  How do you say that without hurting the other person’s feelings? It is in no way his fault. I am commitment phobic and the series of events over the weekend, along with the questions in my mind, have me reeling.

I am having an intense internal battle! I love seeing romantic movies, I love romantic dates, I love that my friends have found/married/dated their soul mates, I love the idea of being in love, but for the life of me, I cannot understand my fear of finding love for myself! The minute someone expresses strong feelings towards me, I am ready to run the other way. Or when I acknowledge that I may possibly “like” someone, I am ready to break it off.

That was the entire purpose of the internal dialogue I have had all day. I do not want to start by saying, “It’s not you, it’s me…” Although, that is the TRUTH, I thought I would start by saying, “Remember when I told you about all the things that scared me to death, well…”

On the other hand, I am bracing for this conversation when I do not even fully know if it is warranted. Part of me hopes that the guy does not like me, that way I will not be the villain. Instead, I will be the poor damsel that got her feelings hurt yet again but because those feelings were NEVER voiced, then I can walk away with my ego in tack. It is so much easier when the guy breaks up with me; I can fake a sad face with puppy dog eyes because on the inside, I am as giddy as a small kid.

Or it could be a happy ending like in the movie but for some reason, I don’t think real life works like that…

Maggie Carpenter: I was, because if you said “yes” right away, then I wouldn’t get to say this next part, and I’ve been practicing. Ready?

Ike Graham: I’m listening.

Maggie Carpenter: I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want get out. But I also guarantee… that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart… you’re the only one for me.

Warning: Mixed signals ahead…

Life is simple, its just not easy.  ~Author Unknown

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! In fact, I have spent my entire day watching Christmas movies, drinking hot cocoa, wishing the raindrops outside were snowflakes, and getting excited about the “happy” feeling that Christmas elicits. Boys II Men has been on repeat, I absolutely love their version of “Let it Snow.” I would bet money that some babies have been made to this song.

However, even the scent of my gingerbread candles cannot hide the fact that I am a little perplexed over the weekend’s date. Honestly, I don’t even know if I can consider it a date. Furthermore, I am still unsure what to think of the new guy. I dislike that I am having trouble determining what I should do next. In fact, the indecisiveness has caused me to write and re-write this post several times. Right when I think that I have managed to capture my thoughts in the post, I read it, and then realize that I sounded either too emotional or too cynical.

I could blame the lack of good judgment on the euphoric feeling of the holidays. Perhaps it is the cold weather or the romantic notions in the Christmas movies but I cannot help but to smile and think “‘Tis the season.” Then the next thing I know, visions of cuddling with that special someone fill my head. It isn’t long thereafter that the feelings doubt and cynicism come to mind.

Again, another weekend of complaints from friends, mixed signals, beer, and cuddling, has a girl scratching her head the next day. I hate that I am exhausting brain power on this matter and I have already done quite a few pushups and crunches to take my mind off it.

Side note: If I continue to exercise in order to “free my mind”, I will turn into the Hulk.  I may have clocked in over a thousand crunches and several hundred pushups in the past week alone. In addition, it looks like I will be up early to go for a run in the morning…Why do singles workout so much????

Ok, I digressed. I find myself wondering…

Why do people send mixed signals?

Mixed signals suck!!!!! I think that I am a person that says the truth and my actions reflect my statements. I joke a lot, I am a little difficult to get to know, and at times I may have a few control issues but generally, what I say and do work in succession.  I don’t understand why that is not the case with others and I think I will live my entire life wondering.  Why not act the same way all the time???? If the other person is unsure then he/she should make that admittance.

Secondly, I know that I am repeating myself, why can’t we go back to making things simple? I would love to receive a note.  Maybe even send the note with chocolate and flowers but that may be too much for some guys to handle.

It could all be so simple...

Instead, I spend time attempting to analyze exchanges and decipher the meanings. Questions like, “Why hasn’t he called?” and “Why hasn’t he replied to my text?” replace the most meaningful one of all, “Do you like me?”

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! In fact, I have spent my entire day watching Christmas movies, drinking hot cocoa, wishing the raindrops outside were snowflakes, and getting excited about the “happy” feeling that Christmas elicits.

However, even the scent of my gingerbread candles cannot hide the fact that I am a little perplexed over the weekend’s date. Honestly, I don’t even know if I can consider it a date. Furthermore, I am still unsure what to think of the new guy. I dislike that I am having trouble determining what I should do next. In fact, the indecisiveness has caused me to write and re-write this post several times. Right when I think that I have managed to capture my thoughts in the post, I read it, and then realize that I sounded either too emotional or too cynical.

I could blame the lack of good judgment on the euphoric feeling of the holidays. Perhaps it is the cold weather or the romantic notions in the Christmas movies but I cannot help but to smile and think “‘Tis the season.” Then the next thing I know, visions of cuddling with that special someone fill my head. It isn’t long thereafter that the feelings doubt and cynicism come to mind.

Again, another weekend of complaints from friends, mixed signals, beer, and cuddling, has a girl scratching her head the next day. I hate that I am exhausting brain power on this matter and I have already done quite a few pushups and crunches to take my mind off it.

Side note: If I continue to exercise in order to “free my mind”, I will turn into the Hulk. I may have clocked in over a thousand crunches and several hundred pushups in the past week alone. In addition, it looks like I will be up early to go for a run in the morning…Why do singles workout so much????

Ok, I digressed. I find myself wondering…

Why do people send mixed signals?

Mixed signals suck!!!!! I think that I am a person that says the truth and my actions reflect my statements. I joke a lot, I am a little difficult to get to know, and at times I may have a few control issues but generally, what I say and do work in succession. I don’t understand why that is not the case with others and I think I will live my entire life wondering. Why not act the same way all the time???? If the other person is unsure then he/she should make that admittance.

Secondly, I know that I am repeating myself, why can’t we go back to making things simple? I would love to receive a note. Maybe even send the note with chocolate and flowers but that may be too much for some guys to handle.

Instead, I spend time attempting to analyze exchanges and decipher the meanings. Questions like, “Why hasn’t he called?” and “Why hasn’t he replied to my text?” replace the most meaningful one of all, “Do you like me?”

A series of unfortunate events…

I cannot get to sleep and I am unbelievably irate with myself as to the reason why I am missing out on precious hours of sleep. Even more upsetting is that I misread the time on my cell phone, just popped a muscle relaxant for my aching neck, only to realize that because of taking the pill too late at night I will be groggy in the morning. It is going to take me forever to get out of the bed in a few hours!

Now, I could be utilizing this time more responsibly, perhaps wrap a few presents for Christmas or balance my dwindling checking account. Instead, I’m reading blogs and dedicating yet another post to my new interest.

Here’s the latest…

After spending most of a day together, which in my opinion was nice, there is something bothering me…(Yep, I know, here we go again.) The internal battle is raging yet again, considering that this same feeling reared its ugly head with the long distance “situation,” I think I may have reason to listen a little sooner this time.  In one corner is the analytical, always thinking, unemotional, yet heavily observant, and lately consistently right portion of my brain that is screaming, “Unh Uh! Keep moving! Do NOT fall for this foolishness.” In the opposite corner is the girlie, romantic, wishful, dumbbell that is urging me with an unconvincing argument, “Stop being such a hard ass. Let your guard down just a little. Remember, you had a great time. Everything he’s saying sounds good and he could be THE ONE. ”  (Is it wrong of me to want to smother that little voice until it no longer exists? I feel like that is my Achilles heel and well…I absolutely detests signs of weakness in myself. Forgive me, lack of sleep, disappointment, and PMS are not good combinations.)

Anyway, I started thinking (when I should be sleeping!) of why it seems so difficult for men and women to get together. For starters, I think it is safe to say that both sexes just want to know that the other person is thinking of him/her. Whether in the form of a quick text during the day or a call, people want to their feelings validated. Secondly, cut out all the bullshit, if it is not working, let the other person know. That really sounds very simple to me but I just do not understand why things do not work out that way.

Soooooo, at this point in the dating game, I strongly believe that IT IS ME.  I have tried several different yet unsuccessful approaches this year.  I jumped headfirst without thinking about my “emotionally distant” issues, methodologically planned actions, and even relied on the hands of fate to make things work. As I sit here, unable to sleep and time continuing to pass, I realize that IT MUST BE ME. Seriously! There is no other way to explain the unfortunate series of events that plague my dating life…